God takes a vacation

[Captain America]

God called St Peter in for a conference. God said, "Pete, I wan't to take a vacation. Do you have any travel ideas for me?"

St Peter replied, "God, you're going to love Venus. There are 8 foot beautiful women there."

God said, "No, too close to the sun. Too hot"

St Peter says, "Well, how about Mars? It's been a zillion years since you've been there."

God says, "No thanks. Little green men bouncing off of my kneecaps is not my idea of a vacation. Besides, it's too far from the sun. Too cold."

Then St Peter says, "Well, what about Earth? There are 3 billion interesting people down there, each doing their own thing. And the temperature is just right."

God said, "Ha! Are you nuts? The last time I went to Earth, I knocked up some jewish broad and they are STILL talking about it! ":eek:

:angel:

[bama47]

For your sake I hope God thinks that is funny. I really do!

[Captain America]

You get one go around at life Bama. I hope for your sake you are enjoying it. I really do.:rolleyes:

[xexon]

I grew up in "Bama"

To this day, you can't buy a copy of Playboy in my home town. Or any alcohol.

Some "religions" have too much control.



x

[Captain America]

Religion is the glue that bonds the fragile mind. Some people need it to get by. Just like a crutch when you have a broke leg. We should not laugh or make fun of the handicapped.

[Voice Of Reason]

Originally posted by Captain America
God called St Peter in for a conference. God said, "Pete, I wan't to take a vacation. Do you have any travel ideas for me?"

St Peter replied, "God, you're going to love Venus. There are 8 foot beautiful women there."

God said, "No, too close to the sun. Too hot"

St Peter says, "Well, how about Mars? It's been a zillion years since you've been there."

God says, "No thanks. Little green men bouncing off of my kneecaps is not my idea of a vacation. Besides, it's too far from the sun. Too cold."

Then St Peter says, "Well, what about Earth? There are 3 billion interesting people down there, each doing their own thing. And the temperature is just right."

God said, "Ha! Are you nuts? The last time I went to Earth, I knocked up some jewish broad and they are STILL talking about it! ":eek:

:angel:

Captain America I would be very careful about making jokes about Jesus and his mother.........

Just remember what goes around comes around...............

[Captain America]

They gonna huff and puff and blow my house down?:laughter:


Sorry.....couldn't resist.;)

[Agnostic]

Voice of Reason,
You've got it wrong. The Cap'n didn't mean that broad.:D

God is so all-powerful he can get any broad he likes.;)

[Voice Of Reason]

I really think this thread closed.............It is in very bad taste........

[xexon]

Humor, is the lubricant of life.

Religion is not exempt from it's share of jokes. Good meaning humor is different than outright meaness.

That brings me to a joke I read in one of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's books.

"There were 3 nuns at a baseball game. Behind them, sat a couple of rednecks who were about half drunk.

The big hats the nuns were wearing were interfering with the rednecks view, so they start mouthing off...

"I think I'm gonna go to Idaho, they don't have too many Catholics there".

The other redneck chimes in...

"Well, I think I'm gonna go to Wyoming, there don't have too many Catholics there either".

The head nun, having heard enough, turns round and says "Why don't you go to hell ? There are no Catholics there " !



x

[Captain America]

A pour soul, upon departing this life, suddenly found himself in the company of Saint Peter getting the "Grand Tour" of heaven.

Walking down a gold paved street, they pass a house with a lot of shouting and singing going on. "This is where we keep the Baptists." said Saint Peter.

A bit further down the same road, they happened upon another house where the smell of incense filled the air, "This is where we keep our Buddists" said Saint Peter.

A few doors down, Saint Peter asked the dearly departed, "Would you please remove your shoes and tip-toe past this house?" The person asks, "Why?" Saint Peter replied, "Because this is where we keep the Catholics. They think they're the only ones up here.":laughter:

:devil:
Captain America

[xexon]

Le Bump.


x

[d0lfins0ng]

You're so silly. God never takes a vacation. Humankind takes a vacation from Him.:angel:

[Captain America]

God may not get vacations but I hear he has one helluva 401K.:lol:

[NimNim]

Originally posted by Voice Of Reason
I really think this thread closed.............It is in very bad taste........

This is alarming. Is this how you handle everything that you don't like? Ban it - because you know what "good taste" is - and apparently nobody else does?

I say we ban religion from the United States - seize their property and put them in jail if they continue to practice religous ideas.

[Captain America]

What the heck you talkin' about? This thread ain't closed.

See?

[cpwill]

xexon; where are you from? i'm a sylacauga/birmingham/huntsville combination myself.

nimnim; that would only make us stronger.

CA if that bit on the fragile mind was true then i am extremely curious as to why i know so many strong minded christians and so many weakminded atheists. and, also visa-versa.

protestants don't recongnize the pope.
methodists don't recognize predestination.
and baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store:P;)

[NimNim]

Originally posted by cpwill
nimnim; that would only make us stronger.

Sarcasm - only to illustrate ignorance.

[xexon]

cpwill,

I am from a tiny town in the NW part of the state. As I value my privacy, I can't be more specific.

Hope you understand.


x

[cpwill]

nimnim, do you mean you were being sarcastic, or you think i am? (sorry, 36 hours no sleep)

xexon, is cool, simply was having fun with the small-world concept.

[xexon]

I understand the small world concept.

I was on IRC a few years ago, talking to somebody on a foreign channel. Turns out, they just lived on the other side of town from me.


x

[NimNim]

Originally posted by cpwill
nimnim, do you mean you were being sarcastic, or you think i am? (sorry, 36 hours no sleep)

I was being sarcastic. :D

[EvilTwinFelicia]

This particular joke has been making the rounds in plenty of Christian internet joke rooms, as well as the non-religious ones as well.

I say-- if you like it, and you laughed-- great. I've heard plenty of crass jokes about Catholic priests, Muslims, Buddhists, and Mormons to last me a lifetime. I can see the humor behind this joke.