chukster8614
08-31-2005, 11:16 AM
As a parent of a young child, I often wonder how I am going to explain volatile events to him when he starts asking questions. I'd be interested in hearing from other parents as to how they deal with this.
Talking About Volatile World Events
Tips for communicating with your kids
By Teresa Pitman
World disasters are scary for adults and children alike.
As news of floods, terrorist attacks or other tragedies surround them, your children may be feeling frightened, anxious, sad and confused, warns Claire McDerment, Co-Chair of the Psychology Foundation of Canada’s Kids Have Stress Too project (www.kidshavestresstoo.org).
“Give them the chance to express their feelings,” McDerment says, “and remember that children take their cues from the parents. You may be feeling upset, too, but they need you to respond calmly.”
What children need to know:
“For younger children – up to about age eight – their first concerns are ‘Am I safe? Is my family safe? Is our neighbourhood safe?’" says McDerment. For them, your primary message should be one of reassurance.
With older children, reassurance is just step one – they’ll also want information. McDerment advises: “Clear your own head a bit before you get into this discussion.” Parents may have strong opinions on certain issues, but McDerment recommends a more even-handed approach as less frightening for children.
Children may need reassurance and information - not just once, but over and over. “Typically, a child will ask a question, go away to think about it, and come back with another question a bit later,” McDerment says. “Answer as openly as possible, but don’t give too much information all at once – it might be too much for your child to handle.”
“Do more listening than talking,” she adds.
Monitoring the news media:
McDerment suggests minimizing your children’s exposure to TV newscasts because the visual images can be overwhelming. Older children might want to read a newspaper article with you and discuss it.
Parents should also guard against becoming too engrossed in watching live television updates themselves. “It doesn’t help children to see us so focused on the disaster or becoming upset by what we see,” McDerment says.
Day to day:
Keep life as normal as possible and have fun with your child, McDerment says, suggesting: “Rent a funny video, or go outside to play catch, or cuddle up to read a book together. Remind your child that this is still a good world to be a part of.”
Helping out:
Many children feel better if they can do something to help out. If your family is religious, invite them to pray for the people involved in the war or for a peaceful resolution. Other children may want to make donations to relief organizations, says McDerment.
Stressful symptoms:
If your child seems unusually agitated, obsessed with watching the updates on the news, or is showing other signs of stress, McDerment suggests consulting with your family doctor or a mental health professional. Children who have experienced war or other tragedy first-hand before moving to Canada may be especially upset and may need extra help and support. On the other hand, don’t worry about the child who seems to be ignoring the whole situation or who says “it’s all happening far away.” It doesn’t mean he’s cold and heartless, it’s just his way of dealing with a difficult situation.
http://www.todaysparent.com/lifeasparent/parenting/article.jsp?content=20050106_094018_6052&page=1
Talking About Volatile World Events
Tips for communicating with your kids
By Teresa Pitman
World disasters are scary for adults and children alike.
As news of floods, terrorist attacks or other tragedies surround them, your children may be feeling frightened, anxious, sad and confused, warns Claire McDerment, Co-Chair of the Psychology Foundation of Canada’s Kids Have Stress Too project (www.kidshavestresstoo.org).
“Give them the chance to express their feelings,” McDerment says, “and remember that children take their cues from the parents. You may be feeling upset, too, but they need you to respond calmly.”
What children need to know:
“For younger children – up to about age eight – their first concerns are ‘Am I safe? Is my family safe? Is our neighbourhood safe?’" says McDerment. For them, your primary message should be one of reassurance.
With older children, reassurance is just step one – they’ll also want information. McDerment advises: “Clear your own head a bit before you get into this discussion.” Parents may have strong opinions on certain issues, but McDerment recommends a more even-handed approach as less frightening for children.
Children may need reassurance and information - not just once, but over and over. “Typically, a child will ask a question, go away to think about it, and come back with another question a bit later,” McDerment says. “Answer as openly as possible, but don’t give too much information all at once – it might be too much for your child to handle.”
“Do more listening than talking,” she adds.
Monitoring the news media:
McDerment suggests minimizing your children’s exposure to TV newscasts because the visual images can be overwhelming. Older children might want to read a newspaper article with you and discuss it.
Parents should also guard against becoming too engrossed in watching live television updates themselves. “It doesn’t help children to see us so focused on the disaster or becoming upset by what we see,” McDerment says.
Day to day:
Keep life as normal as possible and have fun with your child, McDerment says, suggesting: “Rent a funny video, or go outside to play catch, or cuddle up to read a book together. Remind your child that this is still a good world to be a part of.”
Helping out:
Many children feel better if they can do something to help out. If your family is religious, invite them to pray for the people involved in the war or for a peaceful resolution. Other children may want to make donations to relief organizations, says McDerment.
Stressful symptoms:
If your child seems unusually agitated, obsessed with watching the updates on the news, or is showing other signs of stress, McDerment suggests consulting with your family doctor or a mental health professional. Children who have experienced war or other tragedy first-hand before moving to Canada may be especially upset and may need extra help and support. On the other hand, don’t worry about the child who seems to be ignoring the whole situation or who says “it’s all happening far away.” It doesn’t mean he’s cold and heartless, it’s just his way of dealing with a difficult situation.
http://www.todaysparent.com/lifeasparent/parenting/article.jsp?content=20050106_094018_6052&page=1