Jesus and My Plum Tree

[brainpan]

WARNING and DISCLAIMER!!! The following is mostly just an attempt at a creative "true confessions" that deals with my hatred for "Mother Nature," "God," or whatever anthropomorphism that most closely reflects your beliefs by sharing my recent experience. Take it for what it is, my honest feelings expressed in a conversational and self-centered manner. My intent is not to offend but to share. Please don't continue reading if you have no stomache for exceptionally rude blasphemy or unapologetic slaying of sacred cows. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy! :) :) :)

I'm such a bastard at this site, most of you would probably be incredulous of my claim that I'm an exceptionally soft-hearted type of feller. But it's true. I care about the happiness of my fellow man and I have a special place in my heart for all the rest of nature's creatures (except for cats which I really, really hate. I probably hate them just as much as God hated Esau! See, there's the inner bastard screaming to be let out again, just like a mewling cat, I gotta' keep kicking the ****** back down! Moving right along... :D )

My mommy has an apricot and plum tree in her back yard. Most people don't like plums and apricots too much, so most of the harvest they bear finds it's way into the trash. But every year, I pick them both clean of their fruit so that it doesn't fall into the grass and make a mess.

But here's the thing. I always feel guilty for picking all the fruit at once, because the birds just love it, I mean they really love it! In fact, nearly a third of the fruit gets pecked or half eaten before it's fully ripe. In deference to my little flying buddies, I compromise and leave the fruit on at least a few of the low-lying branches so they can enjoy their "delicious" apricot and plum buffet.

But alas, my kind-heartedness brought a bad result this year. My peculiar harvesting caused the birds to cluster low in the tree, and that allowed a cat to catch and eat what I think was a robin, but I'm not sure. Only a few feathers and a chunk of meat the size of plum pit was left of him. WELL **** YOU GOD! **** YOU! In your "benevolent wisdom," you created nature as a permanent battleground of fear, pain, and desperate struggles to survive.I hope you enjoyed your experience on the cross, do unto others and all that!

One lowly man was able to make a more honest effort to make your creatures happy than you ever will. Be happy I no longer believe in you, because if I did, I would hate you will all my heart. :mad: :( :o :p

Oh yeah, same goes for the "god" of the "nature freaks" who think nature is beautiful and sing along with Elton John's "circle of life." Maybe I will fell better if I shout the words to "circle of life" as loud as I can while I kick the living **** out of a stupid cat...Nah. I hate cats, I really do. But I don't like to hurt things. :flowers:

[neo of the mind]

Interesting read. Yes, ther was some "exceptionally rude blasphemy", but I think you were holding back.

I find this quote, to be the crux of the story:

"One lowly man was able to make a more honest effort to make your creatures happy than you ever will."

Matt 6:26

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
KJV


You say you made a more honest effort than God? You honestly believe that your care for the birds USING what God already provided for them, was better than God's? God provided the food for the birds, YOUR selfishness in not wanting a lawn temporarily scattered with decaying fruit is why that bird is dead. You do realize that the fruit falling also feeds other life forms. You do realize that birds, taking parts of the fruit are a means of scattering the seeds. God's creation is perfect, balanced and self sustaining by design.

You don't like how God setup the foodchain? I guess you don't eat any food then.

I do appreciate your honesty in writing this and I hope you take my comments as constructive and something to think about.

[FlyingGuineapig]

I asked my cats about this, and they explained that God is on their side, which is why they get to sleep for 18 hours of the day, have food & water provided to them, and kill whatever they can manage to get their paws on (which variest greatly from cat to cat - about half of mine can't manage to kill a bug if it was in a bug-sized wheelchair on a bug-sized respirator).

I then asked them, if God was on their side, how come He didn't interfer in the whole neutering/spraying process. I got a really dirty look. :)

[steveksux]

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
See how easy it is to misinterpret the Bible? Obviously God meant
yet your heavenly Father feedeth them to the cats

Randy

[Alvin T. Grey]

See how easy it is to misinterpret the Bible? Obviously God meant


Randy :laughter: :laughter: :laughter:
You see. This is why I'm a dog person.

[mataj]

WELL **** YOU GOD! **** YOU! In your "benevolent wisdom," you created nature as a permanent battleground of fear, pain, and desperate struggles to survive.I hope you enjoyed your experience on the cross, do unto others and all that!Nicely put :D

I felicitate you on your diction, sir :D

h yeah, same goes for the "god" of the "nature freaks" who think nature is beautiful and sing along with Elton John's "circle of life." Maybe I will fell better if I shout the words to "circle of life" as loud as I can while I kick the living **** out of a stupid cat...Nah. I hate cats, I really do. But I don't like to hurt things. :flowers:I usually remind them of the fact that Mother Nature is one psychotic *****.

[mataj]

Oh, and BTW- today, while biking, I saw a snake sunbathing in the middle of the road. I slammed on the brakes, and lovingly chased it away, just a couple of minutes before a car came by. I think it wasn't venomous, but I'm not sure. Am I benevolent naturschik or what!

[sub_zer0]

I'm such a bastard at this site, most of you would probably be incredulous of my claim that I'm an exceptionally soft-hearted type of feller. But it's true. I care about the happiness of my fellow man and I have a special place in my heart for all the rest of nature's creatures (except for cats which I really, really hate. I probably hate them just as much as God hated Esau! See, there's the inner bastard screaming to be let out again, just like a mewling cat, I gotta' keep kicking the ****** back down! Moving right along... :D )

God did nothing to Esau.

But here's the thing. I always feel guilty for picking all the fruit at once, because the birds just love it, I mean they really love it! In fact, nearly a third of the fruit gets pecked or half eaten before it's fully ripe. In deference to my little flying buddies, I compromise and leave the fruit on at least a few of the low-lying branches so they can enjoy their "delicious" apricot and plum buffet.

I thought evolution was all about struggle to sruvive, why were you helping the birds? How does this fit with evolution theory?

But alas, my kind-heartedness brought a bad result this year. My peculiar harvesting caused the birds to cluster low in the tree, and that allowed a cat to catch and eat what I think was a robin, but I'm not sure. Only a few feathers and a chunk of meat the size of plum pit was left of him. WELL **** YOU GOD! **** YOU! In your "benevolent wisdom," you created nature as a permanent battleground of fear, pain, and desperate struggles to survive.I hope you enjoyed your experience on the cross, do unto others and all that!

God did nothing, He created us in perfect harmony with Him and the earth. Adam and Eve CHOSE to sin and bring, "battleground of fear, pain, and desperate struggles to survive," or death, clearly disobeying Gods direct order not to otherwise you will get death. Same goes now, death but with everlasting spiritual life with Christ or physical and spiritual death if you reject.

Not only that, but this world isn't permanant, it will be replaced with an everlasting Heaven and Earth, the way it was supposed to, when humanity has been cleansed through Christ.

So, really your argument has no Biblical merit, which is where you base your argument on, stating "the cross" and all.

One lowly man was able to make a more honest effort to make your creatures happy than you ever will. Be happy I no longer believe in you, because if I did, I would hate you will all my heart. :mad: :( :o :p

Why do you blame a God, you don't even believe exists or believe in for that matter?

Not only that, but if your arguments were Biblical, you would be at a loss for words.

[Riddley]

Nature, "Red in tooth and claw" can be decidedly unpleasant eg. Orcas killing a Humpback over 24 hours and then just eating the tongue, Pelicans having four chicks and the strongest always kills the others. But that's just the way it is, as my daughter (8) says "They're just doing their job, Dad".
That's why we're supposed to be better, we're supposed to be able to reason :lol: display alturism. We have a way to go.

I'm glad you saved the snake mataj, they need all the friends they can get. I like them too but I'm also glad we don't have any here.

[JoeR]

I thought evolution was all about struggle to sruvive, why were you helping the birds? How does this fit with evolution theory?

Nothing about evolution says you can't help other creatures.

[sub_zer0]

Nothing about evolution says you can't help other creatures.

According to Randy, "Red in tooth and claw", is what it is all about.

[JoeR]

Do you mean Riddley? Red in tooth and claw is a literary reference, and was followed by "can be" not "always is." He also mentioned the fact that we can reason (arguable that other animals can too to a lesser degree) sets us apart from solely instinctual behaviors.

[Riddley]

Well done JoeR. I did not know where it was from myself until now.

Man...
Who trusted God was love indeed
And love Creation's final law --
Tho' Nature, red in tooth and claw
With ravine, shrieked against his creed.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson

And the point of it was to show the difference between Man and Nature and try to point out to Brainpan that the cat is just being a cat. He doesn't know what else to do.
Only we are supposed to rise above that and I feel that you could look at it from a Bible point of veiw; Man is given the extra reasoning and compassion by a loving god.
OR evolutionarily: Alturism will be useful to the survival of the species because people with different skills will be able to contribute to the group. Very un PC in todays Dog-eat-Dog world.

[JoeR]

I googled it to make sure it was a reference to something.

[ScummyD]

I'm such a bastard at this site, most of you would probably be incredulous of my claim that I'm an exceptionally soft-hearted type of feller. But it's true. I care about the happiness of my fellow man
This is weird. I read up to this point. I was going to post a reply and say "are you sure I didn't write this somwhere," meaning that I can totally relate to this quote, could have even written it about myself.

and I have a special place in my heart for all the rest of nature's creatures (except for cats which I really, really hate. I probably hate them
And when I hit the quote button to reply, I read up to here and was floored. Your words became even a closer description of me. Whoa!!! Hate cats? I could not believe what I was reading.

Very interesting, brainpan. This is something I could see myself writing, verbatim.

My mommy has an apricot and plum tree in her back yard. Most people don't like plums and apricots too much, so most of the harvest they bear finds it's way into the trash. But every year, I pick them both clean of their fruit so that it doesn't fall into the grass and make a mess.

But here's the thing. I always feel guilty for picking all the fruit at once, because the birds just love it, I mean they really love it! In fact, nearly a third of the fruit gets pecked or half eaten before it's fully ripe. In deference to my little flying buddies, I compromise and leave the fruit on at least a few of the low-lying branches so they can enjoy their "delicious" apricot and plum buffet.

But alas, my kind-heartedness brought a bad result this year. My peculiar harvesting caused the birds to cluster low in the tree, and that allowed a cat to catch and eat what I think was a robin, but I'm not sure. Only a few feathers and a chunk of meat the size of plum pit was left of him. WELL **** YOU GOD! **** YOU! In your "benevolent wisdom," you created nature as a permanent battleground of fear, pain, and desperate struggles to survive.I hope you enjoyed your experience on the cross, do unto others and all that!

One lowly man was able to make a more honest effort to make your creatures happy than you ever will. Be happy I no longer believe in you, because if I did, I would hate you will all my heart. :mad: :( :o :p

Oh yeah, same goes for the "god" of the "nature freaks" who think nature is beautiful and sing along with Elton John's "circle of life." Maybe I will fell better if I shout the words to "circle of life" as loud as I can while I kick the living **** out of a stupid cat...Nah. I hate cats, I really do. But I don't like to hurt things. :flowers:
Excellent 'lil read. Too bad you are not a supporting member. We could use more contributors to the creative arts section. Your submission here is perfect for that.

I have a plum tree in my back yard just beginning to ripen. Just across from it not more than twenty yards is my bird feeder. Hopefully the birds will leave me some plums. They didn't do too much damage to the black berries just behind the plum tree so my chances look good this season.

I hate cats. I really do. I have three of them. You know, what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. I got three cats. Whenever I see my wife cleaning the litter pan I chime in with "diggin' in the **** box" in the manner of a TV ad jingle. Not only do they ceaslessly vomit all over the house we have to keep a pan of their feces laying around. Something is very wrong with this picture. Good news, though. She assures me that her, er, oUr three cats will only live another ten to fifteen years. Lucky me.

I must have grown the damn thing for like six months before the flower spike full developed in the kitchen windowsill and was just about to pop. I don't know how many friggin times I have grown a plant for months and months if not years and watched patiently for a flower to mature or a new flush of leaves to sprout when just at seemingly the last moment one of those damn cats eats the flower spike or chews up every new leaf leaving a mangled mess. It is the most trying thing to watch that SOB slink around after it pukes up my mangled flower spike leaving a stain on the carpet. I honestly look at it and want to snap its neck. But I know it is really my fault for leaving the plant in an accessible place. I still hate the damn thing though!

One time one even managed to vomit into one of my slippers. Good morning I said as I slipped them on getting out of bed.

[brainpan]

God did nothing to Esau.Did God hate Esau? Most definitely. Did I say God hated Esau? Yes again. Let's just leave it at that.
I thought evolution was all about struggle to sruvive, why were you helping the birds? How does this fit with evolution theory?It doesnt. Evolutionary theory isnt a primer on ethics or a guide for finding meaning and happiness in life. I show kindness towards animals because I like them, and because I feel empathy for them. Did you miss the part where I vented at Mother Nature? Natural selection is ugliness pure.
Why do you blame a God, you don't even believe exists or believe in for that matter?I don't really blame God or Mother Nature. They served as anthropomorphisms for a reality I sometimes don't like. I just wanted to shake my fist at something, even if I know there is no sentient force that will perceive it.
Not only that, but if your arguments were Biblical, you would be at a loss for words.They aren't arguments.

[brainpan]

YOUR selfishness in not wanting a lawn temporarily scattered with decaying fruit is why that bird is dead.I know that, and it made me feel bad.
You do realize that the fruit falling also feeds other life forms.Sure. But they (bugs) seem to find their way to it no matter what I do. ;)
You do realize that birds, taking parts of the fruit are a means of scattering the seeds. God's creation is perfect, balanced and self sustaining by design.Not a lot of argument with you there. I believe that a force (natural laws) guided it's design. I don't think the system is perfect, it is merely good enough rather than good.
You don't like how God setup the foodchain? I guess you don't eat any food then.I have no illusions about what I am and how I fit into the grand scheme of things. I just don't like it.
I do appreciate your honesty in writing this and I hope you take my comments as constructive and something to think about.OK. I do. Thanks.

[brainpan]

Nicely put. :D

I felicitate you on your diction, sir. :DThank you!
Oh, and BTW- today, while biking, I saw a snake sunbathing in the middle of the road. I slammed on the brakes, and lovingly chased it away, just a couple of minutes before a car came by. I think it wasn't venomous, but I'm not sure. Am I benevolent naturschik or what!We understand each other. It's usually desert turtles I save by carrying them off bike paths. :flowers:

[brainpan]

This is weird. I read up to this point. I was going to post a reply and say "are you sure I didn't write this somwhere," meaning that I can totally relate to this quote, could have even written it about myself.I'm glad I shared my thoughts, it has been therapautic. I've often felt alone in my opinions about the nature of things.
Very interesting, brainpan. This is something I could see myself writing, verbatim.I know better than that. Yours would not be verbatim, it would be vastly superior. We all saw your "Does that thing have a hemmy" piece. Even the members who didn't like it's premise grudgingly admitted it was excellently written.
Excellent 'lil read. Too bad you are not a supporting member. We could use more contributors to the creative arts section. Your submission here is perfect for that.I'll have to check that out. I was about to post a suggestion in the feedback forum that we should have a creative writing forum. It's about time I ponied up anyway, so I'll have to do that after I return from my trip.
She assures me that her, er, oUr three cats will only live another ten to fifteen years. Lucky me.Oh good Lord! You have my sympathy. :(

[brainpan]

And the point of it was to show the difference between Man and Nature and try to point out to Brainpan that the cat is just being a cat. He doesn't know what else to do.I understand. The plight of the predator is pretty sad too. Their continued existence relies upon luck and quick reflexes. There tends to be no welfare in the wild. If a bone is broken, if arthritis sets in, if old age makes a successful chase impossible, the animal dies a slow death by starvation. I don't hate predators per se, just cats. All cats.
Only we are supposed to rise above that and I feel that you could look at it from a Bible point of veiw; Man is given the extra reasoning and compassion by a loving god.Yeah. Nature doesn't have much to teach us about that, it's up to us.

[sub_zer0]

Did God hate Esau? Most definitely. Did I say God hated Esau? Yes again. Let's just leave it at that.

Let's not leave it at that, God did not hate Esau.

It doesnt. Evolutionary theory isnt a primer on ethics or a guide for finding meaning and happiness in life. I show kindness towards animals because I like them, and because I feel empathy for them. Did you miss the part where I vented at Mother Nature? Natural selection is ugliness pure.

I think you missed the part of evolution not being observed in the first place.

[Dangerrmouse]

Let's not leave it at that, God did not hate Esau.


He was just kidding?

Romans 9:13
As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

[sub_zer0]

He was just kidding?

Romans 9:13
As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

In these instances, the Prophet Malachi and the Apostle Paul are using the name “Esau” to refer to the Edomites, who were the descendants of Esau.
...
So, considering the context, God loving Jacob and hating Esau has nothing to do with the human emotions of love and hate. It has everything to do with God choosing one man and his descendants and rejecting another man and his descendants.

http://www.gotquestions.org/Jacob-Esau-love-hate.html

[Lumpen Prole]

Nothing about evolution says you can't help other creatures.

Kin selection. :cool:

[ScummyD]

The birds have begun the daily assault on my plums.

I strung up tinfoil all over the branches to discourage them, but everyday two or three plums hit the dust. I have yet to pick a tree ripened plum and it doesn't look good for the future.

[mataj]

Thank you!
We understand each other. It's usually desert turtles I save by carrying them off bike paths. :flowers:I've been contemplating about that snake lately. What if it was venomous after all? Will it be my fault, if it bites someone later in the course of its life I so thoughtlessly saved? What were my motives here? Then I remembered an event, that occured when I was a little boy. Me & my family were driving on a secluded dirt road leading towards a sequested village on a god forsaken island off the Croatian coast, when my father suddenly slammed on the brakes, got out of our old family VW Beetle, and lovingly kicked 5ft phyton out of our way, among my mother's panicked shrieks. As you can imagine, that certainly made an impression on me. In this particular case, I was actually following my father's footsteps. So, if that snake bites someone, it was actually my father's fault. Ha!