Gospel Tract

[lifeandliberty]

Here is a gospel tract that gets read. Nice photo too.

http://www.lifeandlibertyministries.com/archives/Tom%20photo%20for%20tract.JPG

Back text

We’ve all seen cartoons lampooning the “Mad Prophet” as he walks about with his sandwich board signs declaring that “THE END IS NEAR!”

But the thinking mind will realize that the end is indeed very near for each of us. How many of us have had friends die unexpectedly at an early age? We are not promised tomorrow and there is no guarantee that we will live through this very day.

In Hebrews 9:27 we read, “it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.”

If there is anything in this world that you can bank on, it’s the fact that your end is indeed near. Ten out of every ten people born will die and you’ll be dead a lot longer than the short life you live on this earth. Considering that you have only one shot at this life, it is of utmost importance that you live in a manner that is acceptable to the God who gave you life and to whom you will give an account.

Oh, but here is the problem we all face. We have all sinned and broken God’s commandments and that puts us in a bad spot. You see, we will be judged
according to our every word, deed and thought. Given this fact, you must surely realize that you will be found guilty as a violator of God’s holy law on the Day of Judgment and face the penalty for sin, which is death and hell. (Psalm 9:17)

In the Bible we read of only two types of people, those who live in their sins and are damned and those who confess and forsake their sins and are forgiven.

In Matthew 4:17 we find the topic of Jesus’ first sermon. “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”.

You see, there can be no forgiveness without repentance. No second chances and no short cuts. This is the clear testimony of the Scriptures.

So whether or not this earth comes to an end in your lifetime isn’t the big question facing you today. Your end is near regardless and you will likely face this fact sooner than you think.

1 John 1:8-9 states, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Friend, you received this card because someone wants you to know that you can be cleansed from your sin and be ready for the end that is indeed very near. Get honest with God and seek Him before it’s too late. Read the Bible and obey what you read.

www.lifeandlibertyministries.com
P.O. Box 862 Powhatan VA 23139 * 804-492-9216

[::Major_Baker::]

if anyone is to actually take you seriously, you've got to get two matching shoes, bro.

[The Big Bog]

So do I make the check out to Life and Liberty Ministries or would you just prefer cash?

[Soc.Dem.]

Boy, this guy will feel like a fool the day he dies and finds out that say Islam or Mormonism was the One True Faith! :rolleyes:

Or he realizes that God is not so eager to send people to Hell as the Evangelicals thought, so he could have masturbated and still gotten to Heaven! :D

[Sidgaf]

here also a tract to read. I think mine is funny.

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's butt with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His butt?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's butt, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the snot out of you."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His butt."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the butt?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's butt with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's butt often?"

Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the snot out of you."

Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's butt, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John: "My mother kissed Hank's butt for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"

John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"

Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's butt He'll kick the snot out of you."

Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me: "Then how do you kiss His butt?"

John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His butt. Other times we kiss Karl's butt, and he passes it on."

Me: "Who's Karl?"

Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's butt. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His butt, and that Hank would reward you?"

John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

[Sidgaf]

From the Desk of Karl
Kiss Hank's butt and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
Use alcohol in moderation.
Kick the snot out of people who aren't like you.
Eat right.
Hank dictated this list Himself.
The moon is made of green cheese.
Everything Hank says is right.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
Don't use alcohol.
Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
Kiss Hank's butt or He'll kick the snot out of you.
Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."

Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."

Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."

Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the snot out of people just because they're different?"

Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me: "How do you figure that?"

Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me: "We do?"

Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."

Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"

John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary: She blushes.

John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"

John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary: She looks positively stricken.

John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary: She faints.

John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the snot out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's butt for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

[Soc.Dem.]

Sidgaf,

Excellent!!! :clap: :thumbsup: :whack: :thanks:

It's hilarious and you hit the nail right on the head!