Mom and dad were heroes

[coberst]

Mom and dad were heroes

I was born in 1934 during the Great Depression. Dad drove a city bus in Amarillo Texas. My family moved to a very small town in Oklahoma before my first birthday; I had four siblings at the time we moved from Texas to Oklahoma to manage a small café and hotel that was then being managed by my uncle who wished to return to farming.

During the next 15 years my family managed that café and hotel. The building and the business was owned by an absentee landlord, Mr. Ruttzel. The operation was a 24/7 job that took the total energies of all members of the family as each of us became old enough to work.

This operation allowed my parents to raise a large family in reasonably comfortable conditions throughout the depression and war years of World War II.

What is the meaning of ‘hero’? I have taken one definition from the dictionary and have modified it to represent my comprehension of this concept of ‘heroic’. Heroic is a concept meaning a “determined effort [directed to achieve good or deter evil] in the face of difficulty”. In this definition I define ‘good’ as being that which promotes human life and ‘evil’ as that which promotes human death.

I think that there are degrees of heroic action. Some heroes are greater than others depending upon the circumstances of their action. To be a hero often requires courage and often causes personal hardship.

On a scale of one to ten I would classify the following people as heroes in most people’s judgment:
Mother Theresa (10)
Police and firemen entering the burning buildings in 9/11 attack (8 to 10)
My mom and dad (7)
Men and women fighting in Iraq: our side (5 to 10) their side (?)
Youngster really trying to make good grades in school (7)

The psychologist Alfred Adler said: “The supreme law [of life] is this: the sense of worth of the self shall not be allowed to be diminished.”

Heroic actions are our means for maintaining our self esteem. Without heroic action we cannot maintain our own self-esteem. Self-esteem is self-respect. We judge our self as to the degree of worthiness for respect. We rely partially upon the judgment of others but that respect from others is filtered by our own judgments to how heroic our actions are.

It appears that we must feel self-esteem or we suffer mental illness of one degree or another. I gain self-esteem by reading lots of stuff, writing about that stuff, and posting that stuff on this forum, i.e. I am a self-actualizing self-learner (6).

What do you do for self-esteem?

What do you call a formal dance for ducks?

A fowl ball.

[mataj]

Nobody choses to be a hero. Heroes are

people, who found themselved in the wrong place at the wrong time, and did their best to get out of the woods. Examples: your mom and dad, all unsung war heroes


people, whose heroic deeds were fabricated for propaganda purposes. Examples: mother Theresa, Jessica Lynch

[Atticus]

Nobody choses to be a hero. Heroes are

people, who found themselved in the wrong place at the wrong time, and did their best to get out of the woods. Examples: your mom and dad, all unsung war heroes


people, whose heroic deeds were fabricated for propaganda purposes. Examples: mother Theresa, Jessica Lynch
"Hero" may only be skin deep, but "feckless weenie" is to the bone. Everybody gets choices.

[USViking]

Nobody choses to be a hero. Heroes are people, who found themselved in the wrong place at the wrong time, and did their best to get out of the woods. Examples: your mom and dad, all unsung war heroes
What about the kid who died while helping
his friend who was being attacked by a Tiger
at the San Francisco Zoo?

He was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
but he did NOT try to get out of the woods!!!





people, whose heroic deeds were fabricated for propaganda purposes. Examples: mother Theresa, Jessica Lynch

Numerous countrymen of yours of the WW2 generation
were legitimate heros of the resistance, weren't they?
They could all have taken the easy way of doing nothing.
Surely there were 100s k among them and resistance
members elsewhere whose heroic deeds were real and
not fabricated.

[coberst]

One reason that I posted this was because I wanted to introduce a word that is so very important to the sciences of psychology and psychoanalysis.

We have many words in the language that have both a common usage and also have a technical usage. The word ‘hero' is one such word. I have been studying psychology and psychoanalysis for the last many months and these domains of knowledge use the word 'hero' in a technical manner.

One of the difficulties we always have when we try to learn a domain of knowledge that is new to us is learning the vocabulary. The OP reflects how this word is used in these sciences.

[mataj]

What about the kid who died while helping
his friend who was being attacked by a Tiger
at the San Francisco Zoo?

He was in the wrong place at the wrong time,
but he did NOT try to get out of the woods!!!Sorry, I'm not familiar with that story.

Numerous countrymen of yours of the WW2 generation
were legitimate heros of the resistance, weren't they?
They could all have taken the easy way of doing nothing.
Surely there were 100s k among them and resistance
members elsewhere whose heroic deeds were real and
not fabricated.Oh, my, now you got me :o Even if I win this debate, I'd just be fouling my own nest.

[Riddley]

I think that a lot of life is made up of "ordinary heroism". It can be an "ordinary" ringing up someone that you don't know or meeting a person you don't know.

At times it has taken all of my courage to go to the doctor ie. when I had that pain at the top of my arm that didn't go away after 15 minutes.

Extra-ordinary heroism is something I know very little about in terms of experience. One has read of great deeds and can only wonder at them and try to imagine how one might react.

To me, the key seems to be a quick acceptance and understanding of what has happened or is happening.

[TomAZ]

mataj; Draza Mihailovich and the Chetniks. Willing heros? You bet!

[coberst]

All that I have read about these two sciences indicate that what are called heroic acts are those acts that reinforce our self-esteem and with out self-esteem we are pitiful creatures.



My act is heroic if I think it is and it is also heroic if others think that it is. If my act is heroic then my self-esteem grows. We are not talking about absolutes here. In some cultures if I stone to death my sister for dishonoring my family then my act is heroic.

Lack of self-esteem is one of the major causes of mental illness. This lack of self-esteem can also lead to obesity when the individual tries to find solace in food when self-esteem is not up to par.

[mataj]

mataj; Draza Mihailovich and the Chetniks. Willing heros? You bet!Heroes of a lost cause.

They heroically swore, that they won't shave or get a haircut until the king of Yugoslavia return to his throne. They ended up looking like troglodytes (http://www.leksikon-yu-mitologije.net/files/Chetnik-officer.jpg), and making "live and let live" pacts with fascists and nazis (http://trial-mihailovic-1946.org/IMG/jpg/449.jpg). Consequently, Brits decided to ally with Tito and his communists. Probably not the best fit, but certainly most effective in the region. Speaking of which- how about Tito and his men being a willing heroes?

[TomAZ]

Heroes of a lost cause.

They heroically swore, that they won't shave or get a haircut until the king of Yugoslavia return to his throne. They ended up looking like troglodytes (http://www.leksikon-yu-mitologije.net/files/Chetnik-officer.jpg), and making "live and let live" pacts with fascists and nazis (http://trial-mihailovic-1946.org/IMG/jpg/449.jpg). Consequently, Brits decided to ally with Tito and his communists. Probably not the best fit, but certainly most effective in the region. Speaking of which- how about Tito and his men being a willing heroes?


I guess I'm viewing it from a different perspective, that being Draza & the Chets saved the lives of over 500 downed American airmen by giving them sanctuary from the Nazi's, one of which was my uncle. Many of these airmen rallied to defend Draza after the war, but to no avail. It appears that the U.S. didn't want to offend the Brits who supprorted Tito.

[Atticus]

Heroes of a lost cause.I think it's obviously true that heroism is measured by different people using different sticks.

[mataj]

I guess I'm viewing it from a different perspective, that being Draza & the Chets saved the lives of over 500 downed American airmen by giving them sanctuary from the Nazi's, one of which was my uncle. Many of these airmen rallied to defend Draza after the war, but to no avail. It appears that the U.S. didn't want to offend the Brits who supprorted Tito.It was an old, unfriendly "Fight the Nazis, and rescue downed allied airmen" competition.

There is no democracy during the war. Command has to be strictly hierarhical and centralized for fighting to be effective. Resistance and guerilla war is no exception, far from it. If there are more factions, occupier will sooner or later turn them one against another by "divide and conquer" policy. The final outcome is Somalia-like (or post-Soviet Afghanistan) chaos at best. This is the reason why Tito treated all other resistance organizations as enemies. Chetniks were the most notable victims of this tactic.

[mataj]

I think it's obviously true that heroism is measured by different people using different sticks.There are no heroes on the losing side.

[Atticus]

There are no heroes on the losing side.You've clearly never been to the American South. In Virginia, schools and state offices are still closed on "Lee/Jackson Day."

[roderic]

The hero's journey into individuation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hero_with_a_Thousand_Faces)

[USViking]

I think it's obviously true that heroism is measured by different people using different sticks.
In many cases yes.

However, can anyone seriously deny the heroism
of the young man who stood by his friend during
a Tiger attack?

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-tiger29dec29,0,1398084.story?page=1&coll=la-home-center

[USViking]

I have always though the actions of the band
of the Titanic were heroic, and unadulterated
by considerations of relativism:

http://www.titanic-titanic.com/titanic_band.shtml

(from link, emphasis added)

...their totally unselfish deeds during that night serve as a constant reminder of the devotion to duty many people displayed during the sinking. Shortly after midnight, as the lifeboats had begun to be loaded, (bandleader) Wallace Hartly assembled his band in the First Class Lounge, where many of the First Class passengers were now assembling, and began to play. Many people later commented on how strange it seemed to be wearing a lifejacket, awaiting orders to get into the lifeboats whilst the band continued to play away as though nothing had happened. Later, as more and more people began to realise the seriousness of the situation, and began to file onto the Boat Deck, so too did (the) band on the Boat Deck close to the entrance of the Grand Staircase.

What went through their minds as they played together on that night can only be guessed. As the slant of the decks increased more and more, did they even consider that this was their last hour alive, or did one or two of them hold out a slight hope that eventually, one of the officers would amble over, and instruct them into a lifeboat? Whatever their thoughts were, we will never know. All eight bandsmen were lost...

Almost two weeks after the disaster, bandleader Wallace Hartley's body was recovered from the icy Atlantic, still wearing his bandsman's uniform, and with his music box still strapped to his body. His body arrived back in England at Liverpool on the 12th May, aboard the. His coffin was loaded onto a horse-drawn hearse for the 60-mile journey back to Colne. Over 30,000 people turned out to pay their last respects to Hartley at his funeral on 18th May, and a procession to the Bethel Independent Methodist Church, where Wallace Hartley once sang in the choir, was almost half a mile long. As he was buried in the small cemetery on the edge of Colne, an orchestra played 'Nearer, My God, To Thee', and the music of the hymn, together with a violin, are carved into his ornate gravestone.

[mataj]

You've clearly never been to the American South. In Virginia, schools and state offices are still closed on "Lee/Jackson Day."Ouch! People, who celebrate such things, tend do correct so called "historical injustices" done to them in the most unpleasant ways.

The hero's journey into individuation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hero_with_a_Thousand_Faces)Interesting, thanxx for the link.

I noticed a long time ago, that biographies of the heroes of socialist revolution are very similar to biographies of Catholic saints.

[coberst]

McMansions equals heroic action for American citizens.


"We're not selling shelter," says the president of Toll Brothers, a builder of upscale homes. "We're selling extreme-ego, look-at-me types of homes." In 2000, Toll Brothers' most popular home was 3,200 square feet; by 2005, it had grown 50 percent, to 4,800 square feet. These "McMansions" often feature marble floors, sweeping staircases, vaulted ceilings, family rooms, studies, home entertainment centers and more bedrooms than people.
'House Lust' Hits Home Article from Washington Post Jan 2, 2008