How to be a good wife.. [Archive] - Whistle Stopper Political Forums

NetxMan

11-21-2003, 12:53 PM

Mule I found it.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Missouri Mule

11-21-2003, 12:56 PM

This is a joke, right?

NetxMan

11-21-2003, 01:01 PM

No this was an article in Posted in House Keeping Monthly in 1955.

up2date

11-21-2003, 01:02 PM

Originally posted by Missouri Mule
This is a joke, right? Scary thing is it appears to be intended as real advice. But the heading on time reads: Housekeeping Monthly 13 May 1955. Times have changed just a little.

NetxMan

11-21-2003, 01:08 PM

I wouldn't say scary. This was life back then.

up2date

11-21-2003, 01:12 PM

Originally posted by NetxMan
I wouldn't say scary. This was life back then. You're right, of course. It's just scary by our standards today.

NetxMan

11-21-2003, 01:14 PM

True.

Eric

11-21-2003, 01:49 PM

It should be dated November 21st, 2003!!

Missouri Mule

11-21-2003, 01:58 PM

I grew up in the 50's and I don't remember anything like that.

bama47

11-21-2003, 02:22 PM

The Bible will tell a woman how to be a good wife. Believe it is in Corinthians or Timothy or both.

Amelia

11-24-2003, 12:17 AM

Thank God we evolved :)

The Bible will tell a woman how to be a good wife.

:rolleyes: Don't sweat it! We have made a deal with God.

Strel

11-24-2003, 11:59 AM

The sad thing is, I do all the cooking in the house and she does all the bills.

Things have changed! Of course, she does things to me that would be physically impossible for me to do myself, so it all works out in the end. ;)

bama47

11-24-2003, 02:32 PM

What did u evolve into? lol

I think most wives today and husbands don't fit the description that the Bible lays out for us lol Not really funny!

dove

11-24-2003, 09:51 PM

I enter this thread with fear and trepidation, considering the replies so far. But whats life without a little excitement, eh?
so here goes.

The wording in that article is antiquated, and the sentiment has been tossed for "newer and better" ways for women. But the *idea* of it makes sense. I got married 20 years ago in 1983, and a woman in church who was dear to me, basically told me all that same stuff.

Before you barf, lets go through this point by point.

#1. Have dinner ready. whats wrong with that? Today's lifestyle doesnt always allow anyone to cook huge meals nightly, but, I always try to make sure that my husband comes home to a hearty meal, even if i go to a restaurant and take it out. Fast foods even sometimes enter the picture, but as rarely as possible. The nights I cannot manage it, He cooks for me. But I make every effort to manage it. and present it pleasantly, with a smile.

#2 Prepare yourself. I do this too. I freshen my make up, i fix my hair, and greet him with a hug and a smile. Its not because he's been with "work weary people". Todays co-workers dress more like sluts than anything. You let yourself go, and one of those sluts are gonna look more appealing. I want him to *want* to come home to a woman that is appealing to him sexually. shouldnt every woman?

#3. be a little gay. (oh geeez). wording aside, it should be a "relief" to come home, not something you dread. coming home to a smile and light hearted conversation isnt a bad way to start your night is it?

#4. light a fire for him. errrr well...strike that one.

#5. minimize the noise. i do that for ME as well as for him. my son knows when its "quiet time" and when to go play a video game or amuse himself quietly. read a book or something.

ok. the rest get pretty far fetched. but, as Bama47 pointed out, they wouldnt be that far fetched IF husbands knew *their* role and performed it well. Today's lifestyle is so fast paced and we lack the time to put into a lot of these ideas. Roles blend, husbands have to help out in the house more, women have to bring in the money as well. It still can all be balanced.

to the men on this thread. truth. wouldnt you kill for a wife that did *some* of these things?

Most women dont treat their husbands as KING of the house anymore. But the mistake made is....not treating them like a *man* at all.

All i see is a list of things a woman can put some effort into, to keep her relationship alive and healthy. There is a list for men too, in the minds of us women. If both partners put in that effort i think the state of marriage would be much better than it is today. Its simply stated.....loving someone enough to go that extra mile. and putting them, before you at times.

Ok. let me get my armor, to deflect the arrows headed my way!!

:D

Amelia

11-25-2003, 01:34 AM

Very nicely written dove :)

Fact is, women wear many hats today:
Mother
Wife
Business woman
PTA member
tuitor
cook
cleaner
nanny
nurse
and so on and so on.....

All that men have to say is: "Honey I'm home!!!" :D

Now who has time to have dinner ready
when "master husband" comes home? :thinking:

Simon666

11-25-2003, 04:31 AM

Originally posted by dove
I enter this thread with fear and trepidation, considering the replies so far. But whats life without a little excitement, eh?
so here goes.

The wording in that article is antiquated, and the sentiment has been tossed for "newer and better" ways for women. But the *idea* of it makes sense. I got married 20 years ago in 1983, and a woman in church who was dear to me, basically told me all that same stuff.

Before you barf, lets go through this point by point.

#1. Have dinner ready. whats wrong with that? Today's lifestyle doesnt always allow anyone to cook huge meals nightly, but, I always try to make sure that my husband comes home to a hearty meal, even if i go to a restaurant and take it out. Fast foods even sometimes enter the picture, but as rarely as possible. The nights I cannot manage it, He cooks for me. But I make every effort to manage it. and present it pleasantly, with a smile.

#2 Prepare yourself. I do this too. I freshen my make up, i fix my hair, and greet him with a hug and a smile. Its not because he's been with "work weary people". Todays co-workers dress more like sluts than anything. You let yourself go, and one of those sluts are gonna look more appealing. I want him to *want* to come home to a woman that is appealing to him sexually. shouldnt every woman?

#3. be a little gay. (oh geeez). wording aside, it should be a "relief" to come home, not something you dread. coming home to a smile and light hearted conversation isnt a bad way to start your night is it?

#4. light a fire for him. errrr well...strike that one.

#5. minimize the noise. i do that for ME as well as for him. my son knows when its "quiet time" and when to go play a video game or amuse himself quietly. read a book or something.

ok. the rest get pretty far fetched. but, as Bama47 pointed out, they wouldnt be that far fetched IF husbands knew *their* role and performed it well. Today's lifestyle is so fast paced and we lack the time to put into a lot of these ideas. Roles blend, husbands have to help out in the house more, women have to bring in the money as well. It still can all be balanced.

to the men on this thread. truth. wouldnt you kill for a wife that did *some* of these things?

Most women dont treat their husbands as KING of the house anymore. But the mistake made is....not treating them like a *man* at all.

All i see is a list of things a woman can put some effort into, to keep her relationship alive and healthy. There is a list for men too, in the minds of us women. If both partners put in that effort i think the state of marriage would be much better than it is today. Its simply stated.....loving someone enough to go that extra mile. and putting them, before you at times.

Ok. let me get my armor, to deflect the arrows headed my way!!

:D
Marry me. :D:p

dove

11-25-2003, 05:23 PM

Simon -

Nice to see someone appreciates "old fashioned" ways :)

Gotta go. I have a fire to make....a 9 course dinner to cook, shoes to shine...feet to rub! :D

(and all this before my husband comes home and catches me)

:p :p :p

NetxMan

11-25-2003, 06:28 PM

Originally posted by dove
Simon -

Nice to see someone appreciates "old fashioned" ways :)

Gotta go. I have a fire to make....a 9 course dinner to cook, shoes to shine...feet to rub! :D

(and all this before my husband comes home and catches me)

:p :p :p

That was funny.:lol:

My wife does most of this for me also.

Most of the time dinner is always either finished or about to be finished when I get home.

She usually tries to freshen up, she, like me, try to impress each other as much as we can.

She tries to be pretty happy (gay) when I get home, for the same reason you stated.

I am very personally satisfied when the Heater has been turned on when I come up.

She tries the noise thing. But the 4 kids make that difficult. I wish I could walk into a quite house, but I should thought of that before hand. :D

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

She pretty much does this. I don't think her desire would be to displease me.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the last one.

I don't think she should let me stay out all night without question. That is silly.

Most of the time, she has a cold glass of tea made for me.

She doesn't really like to take my shows off. :rolleyes:

The rest is hmmmm....

Anyway, the way I was raised, if the man is acting correctly and being the man he should be, then most of things fall in place. If you live that lifestyle.

RepublicanGal

11-30-2003, 03:21 PM

I want a wife, then.

"I wouldn't say scary. This was life back then." No, it wasn't...

Remember paregoric..."mother's little helper"?

dove

11-30-2003, 05:07 PM

"I want a wife then"

Easier to do these days. just grab a gal and head off to MA! :D

(make sure the little woman knows how to cook first) :p

RepublicanGal

11-30-2003, 05:17 PM

May I keep my husband, too? He's the cook. I do the gardening and fix the vacuum cleaner when it breaks...the new wife can do the laundry. We both hate that.

JD3

11-30-2003, 05:24 PM

Originally posted by RepublicanGal
May I keep my husband, too? He's the cook. I do the gardening and fix the vacuum cleaner when it breaks...the new wife can do the laundry. We both hate that.

Sounds like my house. You aren't my wife are you?:lol: :lol: :lol:

Dissent

11-30-2003, 05:25 PM

Thankfully we had feminist – or we’d still be in the kitchen :whack:

...seriously though, some women are still stuck into a similar role in this day and age. Maybe not to the same extremity but it's still there. Not a nice thought...

Dissent

11-30-2003, 05:37 PM

Alright, for some reason I knew there were two pages but I answered after reading the first page and forgetting, sorry bout’ that…

Originally posted by dove
ok. the rest get pretty far fetched. but, as Bama47 pointed out, they wouldnt be that far fetched IF husbands knew *their* role and performed it well. Today's lifestyle is so fast paced and we lack the time to put into a lot of these ideas. Roles blend, husbands have to help out in the house more, women have to bring in the money as well. It still can all be balanced.
:D

It can be, but it’s not balanced still that’s the problem, in many relationships both work and have kids but women tend to be taking on more roles like looking after home, kids and work. I know that’s a huge generalisation but it does exist.

Problem with roles is that everyone has to have a ‘place’ and because more women are working and doing other things then life revolving around the man, and as a result I think men don’t know where they fit in these days. Younger men see their Dad’s and take on those attitudes and behaviours then see a woman they want to marry and she doesn’t put up with that crap. I don’t see why we can’t break down all roles have them interchangeable between both?

RepublicanGal

11-30-2003, 06:47 PM

Sounds like my house. You aren't my wife are you?

I'm fairly sure, JD3...I ran into the kitchen after you posted, and my husband was still painting the cupboards.

JD3

11-30-2003, 08:32 PM

Yeah, my wife informs me she wouldn't go by republican anything. but you had me scared there for a second.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Anyway, I have dinner to cook.;)

dove

11-30-2003, 10:37 PM

Dissent -

Hey, dont get the wrong picture of my life. My husband does laundry, he likes to cook, and he's a hugely involved dad to our son.

It would be easy to relax in this, but the more he helps, the more I do to try to make sure he doesnt have to be as burdened. We laugh, as we find ourselves racing to the washing machine with laundry, to beat each other to do it. We *both* want to make each others lives easier. And so, I cook him a huge dinner that takes hours, with glee, anticipating the appreciation he will have for it. (not necessarily because i enjoy cooking). I fix myself up to look my best for him, and greet him with a really lecherous grin ;) I make time to do the things that have to be done, so that *we* can sit and cuddle and talk quietly when he arrives.

Now, if he were one of those husbands who came in, grunted and sat down to watch football, its my guess that this dynamic in our relationship would not be present ;)

I suppose, unlike that essay that was written about the "good wife".....I do these things without feeling demeaned, because they are not demanded from me. they are given freely. and they are appreciated. I'd shine his shoes any day, because the reward goes far beyond shiney shoes.

Well, at least thats how it works for me. I realize it doesnt work like that many times.

Chiasmus

11-30-2003, 10:48 PM

Well said, Dove. On both posts- they made my day. :)

Blueangel

12-01-2003, 05:16 PM

Originally posted by dove
Now, if he were one of those husbands who came in, grunted and sat down to watch football, its my guess that this dynamic in our relationship would not be present ;) Do you know my ex husband? :D

It's definately a two way thing but it really comes to the crunch when your marriage is threatened by a blasted Playstation!
In a little survey (15 of my female friends in relationships), 13 of them had developed a deep resentment of their partners Playstation. Hmmm....

Dissent

12-01-2003, 06:28 PM

Originally posted by dove
Dissent -

Hey, dont get the wrong picture of my life. My husband does laundry, he likes to cook, and he's a hugely involved dad to our son.
It would be easy to relax in this, but the more he helps, the more I do to try to make sure he doesnt have to be as burdened. We laugh, as we find ourselves racing to the washing machine with laundry, to beat each other to do it. We *both* want to make each others lives easier. And so, I cook him a huge dinner that takes hours, with glee, anticipating the appreciation he will have for it. (not necessarily because i enjoy cooking). I fix myself up to look my best for him, and greet him with a really lecherous grin ;) I make time to do the things that have to be done, so that *we* can sit and cuddle and talk quietly when he arrives.
Now, if he were one of those husbands who came in, grunted and sat down to watch football, its my guess that this dynamic in our relationship would not be present ;)
I suppose, unlike that essay that was written about the "good wife".....I do these things without feeling demeaned, because they are not demanded from me. they are given freely. and they are appreciated. I'd shine his shoes any day, because the reward goes far beyond shiney shoes.
Well, at least thats how it works for me. I realize it doesnt work like that many times.

It’s pleasant when you can read things like this. I’m sorry if I got the wrong idea, you’re one of few women that seem to be in a balanced relationship. I’m happy for you. :)

Unfortunately many think that relationships between men and women are equal these days but they’re not, many are just hidden and the inequality isn’t just around women, it’s on both sides of the ‘gender roles’.
It's good to see when one is ;)

Dissent

12-01-2003, 06:34 PM

Originally posted by Blueangel
Do you know my ex husband? :D

It's definately a two way thing but it really comes to the crunch when your marriage is threatened by a blasted Playstation!
In a little survey (15 of my female friends in relationships), 13 of them had developed a deep resentment of their partners Playstation. Hmmm....

lol At the moment my partner's in love with the X-box but then I got it for him :argue:

Most times I join him, more fun playing with two and later he gets off to join me and that's how we got over that problem :D

dove

12-01-2003, 07:31 PM

see Dissent - theres your mistake. Shine the mans shoes. Make the man a fire. fetch the man his newspaper, but NEVER EVER EVER get a man a gaming system!!!!

:D :D :D

Blueangel

12-01-2003, 07:50 PM

Oh...
I forgot to mention the other half of our little survey (and this is entirely true ladies).
We asked the partners of my female friends whether they would prefer to have a night of unmitigated passion with their ladies OR a night beating their high score on their Playstation?

13 chose the Playstation.
1 chose the night of passion,
and 1 poor soul chose the night of passion as long as he didn't have to beg for it :D

dove

12-01-2003, 08:24 PM

well, speaking as the sweet little servile wife that i am.....

if my husband chose to play by himself beating his playstation score.....he'd be playing *with* himself beating something else for a *very* long time ;)

Dissent

12-02-2003, 12:25 AM

*lol@Dove* well said.

My partner may be in love with the xbox but he does always come crawling back :devil:

…bedsides I enjoy playing the damn thing too, sometimes there’s fights over that, not sure if that’s healthy :confused:

BoFA

12-03-2003, 02:54 AM

Originally posted by Amelia
Very nicely written dove :)

Fact is, women wear many hats today:
Mother
Wife
Business woman
PTA member
tuitor
cook
cleaner
nanny
nurse
and so on and so on.....

All that men have to say is: "Honey I'm home!!!" :D

Now who has time to have dinner ready
when "master husband" comes home? :thinking:
A Mother and a good wife, that's who!
The feminist movement is destroying America.

Essendon

12-04-2003, 03:24 PM

Originally posted by Missouri Mule
I grew up in the 50's and I don't remember anything like that.

Maybe you weren't paying enough attention to your parent's failing marraige you fool!!!!!!!!!

;)

ukangel

12-04-2003, 03:47 PM

Originally posted by BoFA
A Mother and a good wife, that's who!
The feminist movement is destroying America.

OMG there is a rent in the space time continum and BOFA has emerged from the middle ages.

I cant really criticise the blokes who like video games however, as I like computer games more than my BF does. Esp command and Conquer. Must be the latent dictator in me

:)

Simon666

12-04-2003, 03:54 PM

Originally posted by ukangel
OMG there is a rent in the space time continum and BOFA has emerged from the middle ages.
You noticed as well? I think he is a time traveller originating from this religious organisation. (http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Sounds/aiff/spanish.aiff)

BoFA

12-04-2003, 04:41 PM

I see no valid arguments against structured society and family, and the need for a caring mother always at the ready for her family. If you misconstrue this as middle aged thought, you are most definitely mistaken. It’s a necessity.

ukangel

12-04-2003, 04:56 PM

I agree with your desire for a nuturing family environment. I just feel that the role of both partners should be flexible in it. I do not see the value of forcing women or for that matter men into roles that are not fulfilling them, I do think you breed a strong family or society in that way.

Strel

12-04-2003, 05:26 PM

" cant really criticise the blokes who like video games however, as I like computer games more than my BF does. Esp command and Conquer. Must be the latent dictator in me"

You are a JEWEL among women!!! Why are all the good ones taken?

____________________________________________
Alas, I am one of those men whose wife is jealous of the computer. She tells me she hears the Diablo II music in her nightmares...

Seriously though, she understands that that is how I unwind and that whacking people with virtual swords is a necessary part of my stress-management regimen (I have a very stressful job). In exchange for this understanding she spends money however she wants and I do ALL the cooking.

(Actually I do all the cooking because she doesn't know how...but she takes care of the bills thank God because that would drive me nuts).

dove

12-04-2003, 07:43 PM

until my son was in 2nd grade, I stayed at home for him.

Once he reached 2nd grade and all was settled and going well in school, I started working, although I limity my work day to school hours. He just turned 13, and until he's about 16 or 17, I will continue to do so.

This causes a lot to be sacrificed in the way of material posessions, but its worth it, I think.

Prior to my going back to work in a small firm that allows me to work 9-2....I was treated like a nitwit by most people just by virtue of the fact that I didnt "work". (I was often amazed at how people didnt consider raising a child and caring for the home "work", till I saw how *their* kids turned out, and what *their* houses looked like, and how *their* husbands were feeling neglected and finding solace in other women).

I will be the first to admit, that staying home full time is depressing. You are very isolated these days, since there are not so many full time moms out there anymore. Yep, your brain does start turning to mush a bit, and if you hear just ONE more barney song, you think you'll jump off a cliff.

I fully understand the need for 2 salaries these days. But i also see 2 income families working not for need, but for the yearly trips to disney, the new car every 2 years, the dvd players in every room including their 3 year old childs room. Working for "stuff" does not take precidence over child rearing in my opinion. Working for food and shelter, of course, cant be avoided.

I was actually very glad to get back out and working, but will never regret my "stay at home" time, and if I ever do start to wonder or regret it, one look at my son, and the person he's become, snaps me right out of it.

I didnt feel "forced" into that role any more than i was "forced" to get pregnant. I know of a lot of moms that have to work 8 hours or more a day, that feel "forced" to do so, and wish they could raise the child they bore on a more full time level.

Women breaking out of their "societal role" isnt a bad thing. Having a career isnt a bad thing. Dads helping more is *definitely* a good thing, so that the woman can have a more fulfilling life. But I wonder how much we try to break away from our "roles" effects things down the line. Not a judgement, just a question I ponder. The "Donna Reed" ideology aside.....are families and people better off now than they were 20-30 years ago?

ukangel

12-04-2003, 08:10 PM

What I want is really for people to be able to have the choice to decide whats fulfilling for them, I mean fulfilling in a holistic sense not just materially.

Theres a lovely quote in the Film "Field of Dreams". Its right at the end, "They will hand over $20 dollars without noticing because its money they have and peace that they lack".

I am sure if people are happier now, but I do like the fact that people have more options now. How happy were people 20-30 years ago ? was that really such a golden age?

DRMIZER

12-04-2003, 08:45 PM

Yes, yes, brings back fond memories of days gone by. Especially that last sentence.

Guys, when you get married, be sure to share this article with you BRIDE-TO-BE. After the wedding will be too late. :cool:

DRMIZER

12-04-2003, 08:49 PM

Originally posted by BoFA
I see no valid arguments against structured society and family, and the need for a caring mother always at the ready for her family. If you misconstrue this as middle aged thought, you are most definitely mistaken. It’s a necessity.

It used to be a necessity until the almighty dollar got in the way. How many families do you know who can live one 1 salary? Few, I'm sure.

Remember, family values have taken a second seat behind the absolute goal of wealth in this country. Remember this. Money isn't everything. . . .it's the ONLY thing. :(

BoFA

12-05-2003, 04:19 PM

Originally posted by DRMIZER
It used to be a necessity until the almighty dollar got in the way. How many families do you know who can live one 1 salary? Few, I'm sure.

Remember, family values have taken a second seat behind the absolute goal of wealth in this country. Remember this. Money isn't everything. . . .it's the ONLY thing. :(

...How many families do you know who can live one 1 salary? Few, I'm sure....

Few by choice, if not by selfishness.

Financial woes do not discriminate. There are hard times for everyone, believe me I know. Necessity would overrule practicality in unexpected emergencies, obviously. But should this set a precedence to not even try at all, or to disregard your obligation to family completely? Which should come first?

Blueangel

12-05-2003, 11:16 PM

Originally posted by BoFA
[But should this set a precedence to not even try at all, or to disregard your obligation to family completely? Which should come first? Seeing as the priorities for having and raising a family are putting a roof over there heads and food on the table, and that many people struggle to fulfil these basic tasks on one wage, it is often the case that two wages are a necessity.
Obviously the needs of the children come first, but it's no use having a full time parent on hand at home, when you're struggling to keep up with the basic bills of running a home.
Unfortuate but true.

Just as a peculiar but true example...
Fijian Indians have a noticably shorter life expectancy than Brits. Thus, there working life is also shorter. It is normal in their culture for the children to be largely raised by the grandparents rather than the parents. Luckily, their culture also has very close family units and the children don't miss out on anything. The parents still live with their children and spend all their free time with them.

With many parents needing to bring home two wages, this method of grandparents playing a large role in the children's upbringing is increasingly the norm in the UK too.

BoFA

12-06-2003, 02:25 AM

Originally posted by Blueangel
Seeing as the priorities for having and raising a family are putting a roof over there heads and food on the table, and that many people struggle to fulfil these basic tasks on one wage, it is often the case that two wages are a necessity.
What seem to be the norm these days of dual income, is the result off desiring wants before needs.
Aside from emergencies, an the unexpected, these problems are easily solved beforehand.
For both parents to carry their careers into a marriage, and neither one making a sacrifice or concession when the children come along is IMO, selfish.

Obviously the needs of the children come first, but it's no use having a full time parent on hand at home, when you're struggling to keep up with the basic bills of running a home.
Unfortuate but true.
See above

Just as a peculiar but true example...
Fijian Indians have a noticably shorter life expectancy than Brits. Thus, there working life is also shorter. It is normal in their culture for the children to be largely raised by the grandparents rather than the parents. Luckily, their culture also has very close family units and the children don't miss out on anything. The parents still live with their children and spend all their free time with them.
...the children don't miss out on anything...

Except the experience of being raised by their mother and father.

With many parents needing to bring home two wages, this method of grandparents playing a large role in the children's upbringing is increasingly the norm in the UK too.
I call it passing the buck.
And selfish.

I'm not against making adjustments to cover for emergencies, and unexpected circumstances, that would be irresponsible. But some folks are more than happy to dump the kids off at day care when there is absolutely no need to at all.

I'd like to expand on my first post to this thread.
Obviously I think that the feminist movement is destroying America.
I think it was unappropriate that at a drop of a hat, women rushed out of the house, leaving an important role they played in a family, vacant.

And this is where you might say I'm contradicting myself.

But as it is, the role has to be played by someone.
I prefer the mother figure at home. Who else is better qualified to preach children the values of life, than a caring mother?

Relax guys.
But if there's an opening, and you think you can take the heat, the father would be the next best thing to assume the role.

Picture this;
The father in his bathrobe, kissing the wife goodbye early in the morning as she heads off to work, then he tending to the children and the household all day....... See? I'm flexible.

Attention stay at home mothers of the world.

Do not be ashamed!

You have faced and conquered a timeless and honorable task.
Modern day women are either too selfish, or unworthy to to take on this challenge.
Your children have blossomed, and you should be proud of yourself!

cpwill

12-06-2003, 06:03 AM

i gotta admit, i'd be a heckuva lot worse off if my mom hadn't been around.

if my wife does not intend to make the same dedication to her kids...then we will have issues.

dove

12-06-2003, 10:25 AM

hey cp :)

"her" kids? :eek:

ukangel

12-06-2003, 01:26 PM

Yeah her kids she can look after them. Afterall she will be kept barefoot and pregnant, so she will have the time.

Methinks CP has a rude awakening just around the corner.

dove

12-06-2003, 01:48 PM

i know cp a little better than that....and I was just teasing him. From what I know of cp, I believe he will be a very involved dad when his time comes :)

ukangel

12-06-2003, 02:12 PM

Dove, I was kinda teasing as well. I am not reading very much into "her kids". Actually I have no problem with women staying at home if its her choice. Choice however is the important issue.

NetxMan

12-08-2003, 12:37 PM

Originally posted by ukangel
Dove, I was kinda teasing as well. I am not reading very much into "her kids". Actually I have no problem with women staying at home if its her choice. Choice however is the important issue.

I beat my wife and tied her up to make her stay at home. It was my choice.

On the serious side, we have 4 kids, 1 salary, decent space, and a lot of love.

It would cost more for my wife to work than it would to pull all of them in daycare. Now after they are all in school she may try to work again, but if she does or doesn't I will be happy.

SantaMonica

12-08-2003, 12:57 PM

Thanks GOD I wasn't born..."yesterday." bleh.

cpwill

12-09-2003, 06:10 AM

dove, blueangel

well...they're her kids too. the basic point was that i would expect a mother to care enough about her kids to be willing to stay home for a few years.

they will need her, kids need at least one parent. dove, thank you for the compliment, but i don't know how involved i'll get to be. everything i've read raising kids in the military indicates that i'm gonna be lucky if i get to 1/2 the birthdays:(. so yes, i'd certainly expect any wife stubborn enough (stupid enough?) to marry me to be tough enough to take the lions' share of raising the kids. i'm no sexist (my mother, along with being smarter than me, could probably beat me up), but here i gotta say that sometimes a guy needs to be a guy and a woman needs to be a woman. that's neither negative nor positive towards either role; i just think that there are differences in where each specializes.

my personality type says i'll be a well-liked if not responsible father; the problem appears to be that i use being with kids to find an excuse to act like a kid myself:D